Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Mr. Sandman Bring Me A Dream

It was another slow weekend in the Malone household, so we found ourselves at the Minnesota Zoo, where evidently they were having a slow weekend as well.
If you remember from my last zoo post, the Minnesota Zoo was the place my Dad took me when I had the stomach flu at age five. That's how much we "love" it.
Once again, I implore you to never have a staring contest with a primate. As penalty for you pointing your large lens at them (a little boy shouted after my dad's gargantuan lens, "Holy Smokers! Mom, look at that guys camera!") they will look you right in the eye. It's highly unnerving, but makes for a better pictures when the Black and White Colobus Monkey tries to intimidate you.

Every animal last Sunday, looked like they needed a healthy dose of caffeine. Too bad that the caribou the coffeehouse chain is named after cannot make lattes with their antlers. These three predators below really needed a double espresso.
My guess is that the Mexican Wolf takes his coffee black with a dash of cinnamon. Bitter and moody, with a dash of unpredictability. After all, one of his canis lupus colleagues jumped the fence a few months ago; prompting a wild wolf chase throughout the zoo that eventually led to a very controversial shooting. The Amur Leopard is a little showy, so I bet he likes a frivolous mocha topped with a mess of whipped cream. His companion did put on a show when we were at the zoo by leaping around his cage. This is the only non-blurry photo I was able to capture, but you can see he's ready to leap.
And I'm sure that the Russian Grizzly Bear is really a big softie at heart, after all, we once saw him playing with a purple ball meant for 5 year olds, so he probably orders an herbal tea.
But I should stop anthropomorphizing here because one (lucky?) Snow Monkey got a taste of the human yuppydom. There are more hipsters babies named Cayden than their frazzled parents can keep track of, so of course some kid's rattle ended up in the exhibit. The Snow Monkey, who I bet has some embarrassingly yuppy name like Sawyer, couldn't figure out why this sickeningly neon strawberry tasted like plastic. Where are the parents?

The Asian Wild Horse parent was around however, galloping around with her rather mangy looking foal. I'm sure its just going through its awkward phase.
The Prairie Dogs never fail to be ridiculous. The pictures are amusing enough on their own, so I won't ruin it for you with running commentary.

I must admit that the Como Zoo was the better zoo visit this summer with even more active animals. The new 3M African Penguin Exhibit (3M? Are they as useful as Scotch Tape?) we were promised was hard to see around the yuppy children. Nevertheless, it wouldn't be a summer back home without a visit.

I promise you there are no more zoos in the Twin Cities, so this is the last the post where I try to project my annoyances on to the animals.

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha!! Prairie dogs <3

    Dude, all the poor sleepy animals! Haha, I loved reading your beverage predictions, they seem to fit each animal perfectly.

    Seriously, although Ferndale and Oak Park are crawling with Hipsters (thankfully we have the nice, granola-hippy ones), I am so tired of the yuppies! They are EVERYWHERE. I am so sick of them sitting outside of my favorite coffee shops, raving about any band that has an acoustic guitar solo in every song, gr! I mean I love Coldplay, but there are other bands out there. I am tired of hearing "the scientist" blaring from their Volvo's stero, and I am sick of seeing Crocs and North face gear on everyone.

    Sorry for the rant. I must be hungry.